Apocalypse Humorist Pillows

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

World Ends Today - Sorry About the Inconvenience.

"Mind if we play through?"

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Ideally I'm after a short-term relationship."

Zombie Baseball

"Have we time for you to have a quickie, Dearie?"

The End Is Nigh - The End.

The End is Neigh

"The good news is that we probably don't need to go to work tomorrow!"

"Dammit! - Can't get a signal..."

"Are forever stamps ok?"

Zombie Worker Apocalypse

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

"You run into a window, too?"

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Fancy a pint?

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Cat Frankenstein

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

The Zombie Awakes...

...your sales are rather anemic

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."