Apiculture Gifts

Beekeeping 101

'What do you mean no bees are allowed? That's species discrimination.'

'Oh boy, the pollen count is going up.'

'So, how can you tell the swarm is going to leave?'

"Yeah, he looks a bit like an astronaut, but he's only a beekeeper..."

All of a bee keeper's Christmas Tree ornaments are big round bees.

'I don't like the looks of this.'

'Thanks for the jar of honey, Mr. McWit. Unfortunately, we only accept cash.'

'An increase in honey prices isn't possible now, McWit, but because of your fine service to us, you may use my gym pass when I'm on vacation.'

'In Case of Swarm, Break Glass.'

'I think I'll get out of the crazy stock market and invest in something secure, something like bee keeping.'

Please do not feed the Venus Fly Traps.

354 Days Without an Accident

A bee keeper trying to sleep counts bees jumping over a fence.

'There's no honey because the bees aren't home...'

'The little ones are hatching! Quick, get the camcorder.'

'Let's follow her next time she leaves the hive.'

'So far, no fun. I hope there's some money in it.'

'We don't have to worry about African Killer Bees this far north.'

'Yes Ma'am, I do pick up unwanted hives.'

'Maybe el niño has effected their sense of direction.'

'The stupidity of your actions are directly proportional to the number of bees swarming.'

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

'It looks like Barracuda Honey is attempting a hostile takeover.'

'I know where the hive is. I just can't tell left from right.'

No Smoking sign next to a bee hive.

'Do you love me for my mind or for my bees?'

Bob has natural animal magnetism.

The Jeopardy of Progress

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

The Vineyard