Anxious Student Gifts

"On your mark, get set. . . Start School!!!"

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Airplane Mode.

Fear of news.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

Parental Role Model

Essay Paper.

"... and how did it make you feel when he waved that red cape in front of you?"

"Up the hill to fetch a pail of water" -- Are you sure that's how hydrodynamics works?

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

"They're from accounting, sir, they're not very verbal."

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."

Now students, we have taken our psychology lecture to a golf club so that you can study first hand the phenomen of human anger...

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'I have this overwhelming urge to clobber somebody.'

Fred prays that he remembered to put on clean underwear that morning.

Dentistry jokes.

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

For high school guys who are apprehensive about pinning a corsage on their date comes 'Katie Corsage.'

To discourage cheating, SAT organizers announced that undercover agents would be present to put down wrong answers.'

"Tell me if this hurts."

'Have you ever considered I may not be cut out to be a student?'

"Anyway, all you'll need to worry about soon is which direction the wind is blowing."

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

"Is that Baldo's 'scary Halloween' face?"