Anxious Orator Gifts

"Tough group."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

William Pitt the Elder

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

He did special exercises to stay calm during his evaluation.

Nice speech, but you don't have that many friends. You better add "Romans and countrymen."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

"Feel free to use it. It's an emergency escape hatch if you say something controversial."

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

Soap Box

J. Dudley - Statesman, orator, philanthropist, big deficit spender.

' Pol Meeting'

Bubbie's parrot

Idlewild.

Worry about everything that might happen/Me/Be ready for nothing that does happen.

'Unaccustomed as I am, to public speaking...'

"We are dropping your column. Many readers think you're just to extreme."

Choose your social anxiety coping mechanism!

I called Laurel an hour ago and she hasn’t called me back. What could possibly be the reason? She no longer likes me; She's gotten into a horrible accident; She's having an affair with Justin Timberlake? She's moving to Europe without telling me?! HOJ. She hasn't gotten the message yet? She's moving to Europe with Justin Timberlake.

Wake up, Don. You're TED talking in your sleep again.

"Anyway, all you'll need to worry about soon is which direction the wind is blowing."

Speaker

"You go on ahead, I'll just sit here and think."