Anxious Competitor Pillows

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

Tree growing

Once again, Daisy had won the 'Employee of the Month' award...'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

The Job Interview

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."

Man coming home and kicking cat, wife asks 'Had a good match dear?'

Who said, women are no-good at boxing?

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

'Oh yeah? Well, Dr. Rose predicts that my inevitable stress-induced massive coronary will strike in half the time as yours.'

"Call me a dreamer, but I see a world in which I give speeches without pants and find myself in the final exam of courses I never signed up for."

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

"Are there any careers where I won't get replaced by an app?"

'Watch him, Dewey! He's taking a big lead!!'

Conscientious objection.

Guilt Day at Shea.

"I was too anxious to sleep, too sleepy to work, and too lazy to go to the kitchen."

"Strike three, strike three! Please, God, strike three!"

Competitive Meditation.

'I don't want to be a doctor! I'm liable to be sued for malpractice!'