Anxiety Worrier Gifts

Time for my four o'clock cookie

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

That party went well.

Nervous Oral Testing

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"You dropped yer wallet."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Flu vaccine.

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'You have a fauxbia.'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

Bring your problems to work day.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

"You must try to relax more"

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

'I've been told I grind my teeth while I'm napping at work.'