Antisocial Humor Fan Pillows

'Edgworth has come to terms with himself. He likes himself very much, but he can't stand anyone else.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Pastry Hat

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Winter Weather.

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

May all your birthday wishes come true..

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'More government surveillance!'

Boomerang cow.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

The Thinker?

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"