Antisocial Humor Fan Pillows

'Edgworth has come to terms with himself. He likes himself very much, but he can't stand anyone else.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Pastry Hat

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Trump Poutine

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Winter Weather.

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'More government surveillance!'

May all your birthday wishes come true..

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

Boomerang cow.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

The Thinker?

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

How men process questions.

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'