Antiques Expert Gifts

Reality of the Antique Roadshow: 'I bought it at a garage sale for $10.' 'Ha! You really got ripped off!'

I'm afraid we are talking more of a puce, than a genuine indigo!'

'No, I wouldn't advise you to put it into the auction. I'd advise you to put it in the bin.'

'Yes, I did know all of that, actually.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Southwark Fair.

Second hand furniture.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Sundial Time

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

You had me at vintage.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Fossil record player.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Antiques

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

The First Printed Bible

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.