Antiques Expert Gifts

Reality of the Antique Roadshow: 'I bought it at a garage sale for $10.' 'Ha! You really got ripped off!'

I'm afraid we are talking more of a puce, than a genuine indigo!'

'No, I wouldn't advise you to put it into the auction. I'd advise you to put it in the bin.'

'Yes, I did know all of that, actually.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Southwark Fair.

Second hand furniture.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Sundial Time

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Fossil record player.

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

You had me at vintage.

Antiques

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

The First Printed Bible

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'