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"Fortunately, I think we have an extremely accurate copy of it in the museum's gift shop."

It was too late to retract her bid. Catherine had purchased the small man on the motorbike'

'We're looking for 'antique items' today, sir - not antique relatives!'

Antiques roadshow 4, naked sculpture "I'm afraid it's reproduction"

Antiques - Spode-u-like.

'The sugar chest is original but the contents are artificial.'

Second hand furniture.

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

You had me at vintage.

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'Man...You age great!'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Antiques

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

"It's a novel about interest rates."

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."