Antique Interiors Gifts

Victorian Pub Scene

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Southwark Fair.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Second hand furniture.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

Sundial Time

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Fossil record player.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

You had me at vintage.

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

Antiques

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'It's an antique!'

The First Printed Bible