Anti-valentine Gifts

"Die alone"

Dead cupid

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

I can't smile without you...

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Valentines Love Hearts - Covid 19 edition.

'Love is a Drug'.

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body

'Well, you're not blind, but have you ever considered laser eye surgery?'

Valentine's Day

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

'For Valentine's Day!'

'Sometimes I feel like people send me Valentine's Day cards just to TICK ME OFF!!'

Valentines for Real Estate

Cupid Shoots at Open Heart Surgery.

"They're free Valentine's Day gifts...chocolate flavored dental floss."

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

Especially for YOU! - Free Valentine hugs.

'You have to admit it's kind of cute. They sent you a valentine subpoena.'

You had me at 'BLLLLUUUURRRPPPP!'

Valentines

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

'You're getting a weapons AND indecent exposure charge, son!'

'Aaaah... poop on them!'

"His reputation as a tough guy was dented when his Valentine called him ‘cuddle bottom’."

'Keep it simple, cupid!'

Blow up valentine.

A boxer fights a heart shaped punching bag.

"I'm afraid we don't have too many openings for someone to 'smite the heart of a fair maiden'."

This ain't no cupboard love.

The quest for spinsterhood.

'Give me a hundred valentines cards.'

Christmas: Let's get it over with.

A candy heart reading 'LOL' is struck with an arrow