Anti-telemarketing Warrior Gifts

"I only wish this was the final notice."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"No, he's not on any antidepressants. His euphoric mood is coming from me installing a robocall blocker on his phone."

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

Meet the People of the Internet

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

"It's a robocall, should I take it?"

"Even though I'm a robot with robot with no emotions, all these telemarketing calls I'm getting is starting to get on my nerves."

Capitalism is a Form of Totalitarianism

'Please... take... a... moment... to... complete... our... brief... survey... to... help... improve... customer... satisfaction... '

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

'Those dang telemarketers have a knack for knowing exactly when we're sitting down for dinner don't they?'

"Car insurance?? - No thanks!"

Vending machine says: 'No telemarketers will call' 50c.

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

Medical whistle blowers.

"Hi this is Mario...is this Sergio Bermudez? Are you interested in buying..."

"To be honest I thought Hades would be Hellfire, Brimstone and eternal suffering....but this is way worse!!"

'I'm eating right now. Can you call me back when I'm not eating?'

The eMailman's Creed

'If you wish to complain please press 2 and then select the Death Metal band that you'd like to listen to while you are on hold.'

'Grandma takes our telemarketer calls.'

Medicare fraud in Miami

"Just sitting here waiting for Facebook to go away."

"I think you'll want to talk to this telemarketer. He's selling a phone device that prevents other telemarketers from calling."

"Yes, I'd like to be placed on the Do Not Call list. Also, happy birthday Mom."

"Yes, I keep a landline. Getting up 50 times a day to answer telemarketers keeps me in shape."

"Must resist...phone allure...of bilingual telemarketers!"

"I'm not trying to sell you anything, sir. I'm doing market research, and all I ask is two or three hours of your time to answer a few thousand questions."

"They're playing 'telemarketer.'"

I'm sorry, but my do-not-call list includes telemarketers, political organizations, charities and men named Fusco.

"The phone company is blocking my calls to you. Have you been reporting me as a telemarketer again?"

"Bloody telemarketers! Always when you're just sitting down for dinner."