Anti-telemarketer Gifts

"We're taking a survey. How do you feel about telemarketing?"

'I'm eating right now. Can you call me back when I'm not eating?'

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

"No, he's not on any antidepressants. His euphoric mood is coming from me installing a robocall blocker on his phone."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"You. . . may. . . already. . . be. . . a . . . winner. . ."

"Is that a finger?"

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"Sell AI"

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Cold caller.

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

Call Center.

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'Hold on, he's back again.'

"We'd love to, but we had too much wine and cheese in the eighties."