Anti-service Enthusiast Gifts

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'The customer is always right...'

DIY Butchers

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"Thanks for waiting."

Trophies of debt collector's heads.

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

Use Next Window.

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

Authoritarian capitalism

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

A midwife and a waiter pass through a set of double doors.

Maid.

'I need to get away from my desk for a while. If anyone needs me I'll be out in the hall thumping my nose at authority.'

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

"24 hour service. Yes, that's how long it takes us to prepare your pub lunch."

We've got to order more uniforms!

Complaints department

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

"We'd like to substitute you for a waiter who'll write down our order."

"Did you remember to tip the doorman?"

"Everything all right?"