Anti-school Enthusiast Gifts

'Look, they definitely don't want to go back to school.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

High School

"He's gonna be bad for business."

'Boy, am I in trubbal.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

'What did I learn in school today? You can't chew gum in class even if you brought a pack for the teacher.'

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

Classroom.

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

"I did my homework, but my little brother took it to his 'show and tell'."

"No, it's not real, but it does wonders for school bus discipline."

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

'We do not permit bullying or name calling in our school. We will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

Trophies of debt collector's heads.

Grading Guidelines.

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

'Dad...why would I ever want to get out of the first grade? I love first grade!'

"Should we really be starting a new unit so close to summer vacation?"

'They had Sloppy Joes in the cafeteria.'

Authoritarian capitalism

"I love school! Today, I passed out new books...I passed out tests...I passed out homework assignments."