Anti-noise Crusaders T-Shirts

'I said 'would you like to join the noise abatement society'?'

Man using to much bug spray

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"It's trickle down."

'I don't care if you're wearing them again tomorrow, just put your clothes away!'

"We give thanks for superfast broadband, 4G connectivity ..."

"It's a survival instinct...they know there's an underwater pipe pumping out untreated effluent somewhere around here."

Air freshener - pollution.

'Listen, McDonald, either knock off the E-I-E-I-O, or I call the sheriff!'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

"It's your turn, kid."

Pete's trying to groom himself"

Turn that noise down !

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

'If you could learn to open up a little, you might make a few more sales.'

Ballad of Offshore Drilling.

"I'm sick of that bloody racket next door...!!"

'We'd better go clean our rooms - Mom's getting serious.'

No Junk Mail

Welcome to Atla tis. N. Look, Ernie! It's the lost consonant of Atlantis!

Honey?! Can you bring up two crowbars to Twig's room? What for? She needs help. Mo-om! You're being extreme. Done! You've got plenty of space to hang your new Christmas clothes. Ok. I'll clean out my closet. Our work is done!

"See, son? Daddy's company makes inhalers to help people with asthma."

'These are called cigarette butts: Humans throw them everywhere and they end up here!'

'Were the lemons grown locally?'

'Breakfast! If anyone can hear me, it's time for breakfast.'

"Mom, brooms are so nineties! Nowadays you have a robot vacuum cleaner!"

Appliances. Air Shampoo $49. The air conditioner won't work properly if you don't shampoo the air first!

'I've got concerns about the cleanliness of your kitchen!'

Cleaners Fold-Press Alterations. Open. The stain's still on my shirt, but they did remove the ten-spot from my pants.

"I don't know which soundbar the neighbor is using, but I wish they would turn it down a bit."

"Still fighting germs, Allergic Man?"

"Customer services?...about this self cleaning cooker."

'Inhaled air in L.A.'

German cities ban diesel cars.