Anti-exercise Advocate Gifts

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"I've always believed that running is for cowards."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise in a car at a gym.

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

"Exercise is a great way of losing weight."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'It's one of the less well known about dangers of a sedentary lifestyle!'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

The Sedentary Dead.

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

Exercise Car.

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."