Anti-crowdfunding Advocate Gifts

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

The Tammany Ring Defeated- NY Mayor Oakey Hall as 'The Last Thorn of Summer'

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

"Waldo starts a GoFindMe."

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

"I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund a rival to Kickstarter."

'If this is a democracy, how come voters don't get matching funds?'

Invest In A Politician Of Your Choice with Our New SuperPac IPOs.

Office of Management & Budget. Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the U.S. budget deficit.

Do not feed the bears. But you can contribute to our Kickstarter fund.

The Potato Salad Society

Mobsourcing

"It takes money to make money. So my advice is: go on kickstarter first, then come back to me."

Here's where we differ ... You say "pickpocketing," I say "crowdfunding."

"Mr. Jones, I'm taking you out of stocks and into kickstarter."

'Hope I die before I'm reduced to advertising car insurance!'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'Please, sir. Help me open a kickstarter account...'

The bastard only funded my Kickstarter at the T-shirt level."

"Can you give us a minute to check our kickstarter campaign?"

"The crowdfunding"

"When you bought your politician, you knew you'd have to walk him at least twice a day."

'I just started at the bottom and I like it there!'

"But I’m so close to my Kickstarter goal!"

"Thanks to Kickstarter, we're building a tunnel."

R.I.P. J.Q. Public: his crowdfunding skills just didn't measure up

'Please, sir, help me open a kick starter account...'

"Joe's trying to get around the smoking ban."

"Do you know the law?"

"The Crowdfunding"

'Don't give me a seat next to any pesky kids!'