Anti-crowdfunding Advocate Pillows

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

The Tammany Ring Defeated- NY Mayor Oakey Hall as 'The Last Thorn of Summer'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

"Waldo starts a GoFindMe."

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

Invest In A Politician Of Your Choice with Our New SuperPac IPOs.

'If this is a democracy, how come voters don't get matching funds?'

Office of Management & Budget. Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the U.S. budget deficit.

'Hope I die before I'm reduced to advertising car insurance!'

Mobsourcing

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'I just started at the bottom and I like it there!'

The bastard only funded my Kickstarter at the T-shirt level."

"Can you give us a minute to check our kickstarter campaign?"

"But I’m so close to my Kickstarter goal!"

"The crowdfunding"

"Thanks to Kickstarter, we're building a tunnel."

R.I.P. J.Q. Public: his crowdfunding skills just didn't measure up

"Do you know the law?"

'Your sense of entitlement is beginning to show.'

"Joe's trying to get around the smoking ban."

'Please, sir, help me open a kick starter account...'