Anti-celebrity Culture Pillows

'I'm looking for something not written by a celebrity.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I think he was a celebrity."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Lesser known greek gods,

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

Bryan Ferry

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

Tom Hanks

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

The Mainstream

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.