Anti-celebrity Crusader Pillows

'I'm looking for something not written by a celebrity.'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

Trump supporters raise the Nazi flag after Charlottesville.

Bees full of righteous indignation swarm the honey company's executive suite.

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

'This is outrageous! I could go to prison for sending miners into an unsafe mine!'

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

Capitalism

Gun control

'I know right from wrong and that's been holding me back.'

"Jeff's trying to get his Facebook friends back down to zero."

'I'd like to outlaw street mimes, too, but they have the right to remain silent.'

Fired Editorial Cartoonists

"BACK FIEND! Take your damned bill and go back from whence you came!"

"Some of your viewers thought your recent 'You'll be sweating like a w***e in church' forecast was a tad offensive."

Colin was determined not to go thirsty on the fun run,,,

Internet Uprising

"We don't like the way you refer to them as 'hymns'."

'I said what I thought, then I apologized when I started losing advertisers. What does that make me?'

"Every time I get out of my political silo and try to converse respectfully with someone who has differing views, I get whacked so hard I can't see straight!"

"Just throw the stick...there is no remote control."

'It's 'Wolverines Without Borders'. . . They want you to perform classic Fusco material in development countries where people don't have access to the comics.'

Inappropriate behavior

Women's Vote and the GOP.

"The great thing about my charity is that all donations go directly to the needy."

"Are you comfortable with your executive salary?"

'I always wanted a career in social work...to make a difference, to help people!'

Soccer Moms Against Corruption

"This commute is killing me."