Anti-aging Gifts

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anit-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

Invention No 123. The Anti-prune Mirror

'Are you sure his hat was like that when we started?'

"Honey, let's lay off the Botox for a while, shall we?"

'I've told him but he won't listen...Too much Botox!'

Tragedy and Remedy.

"I've had my teeth whitened my vision corrected, my face tightened and my hair implanted. Now I'd like to have my birth certificate changed."

'Everyone gets crow's feet sooner or later, Mrs. Sims.'

'This nip and tuck business - can I have the tuck without the nip?'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"When I started it was just a couple of small injections twice a week."

'It makes you look younger.'

'For those of you who have been waiting for me to retire. I'd like you to know that I'm now taking those growth-hormone injections.'

"I didn't mean to imply your laugh lines are funny, Mrs. Carpentier."

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

"Your mother's trying to become wrinkle-free."

"Wow! I pray I look that good at sixty."

"How'd you get rid of all your wrinkles?"

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

"That reminds me, Hon. Your Botox shipment arrived yesterday."

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."

"Ideally, I'd like a reboot to 'factory settings'."

Plastic Surgery: Growing Old Is Not An Option

"Well it's not the BEST facelift but what can you expect for $25."

"I think we're gone as far as we can making you look 'younger'!"

'Reversing the aging process would have been greater if we both would have had the procedure!'

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."