Anti-ageing Gifts

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'Are you sure his hat was like that when we started?'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"