Anthem Enthusiast Gifts

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

Ernie is producing a new TV show! Contestant musicians play their national anthem and judges pick winners in various categories. Some of the anthems we'll hear on the next show are "O Canada" from Canada, "Jana Gana Mana" from India, "Meda Dau Doka" from Fiji, "Patria Amada" from Mozambique and "God Save the Queen" from the United Kingdom! Ernie, I think your show is very good but you do create some confusion by calling it "The Country Music Awards."

Football anthem: 'The Saints go marching in.'

'Let's stick with your original 'Star Spangled Banner,' and pretend there never was this dance-remix version.'

The Prime Minister changes the National Anthem to win support.

"How old were you before you discovered our football club song wasn't the national anthem?"

Patriotic American reacts to news of NFL quarterback refusing to stand during national anthem...patriotic American reacts to request that he sing the actual words to the national anthem.

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

"Sweet Caroline?"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

How a poet works

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with something missing.

Nick Cave

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Naming that Impala

Tom Cruise

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

Art Garfunkel.

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

God save the Queen.

The Harper Government

What really became of the boy named Sue.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'It helps with reception.'

"Please turn to page 38 in your hymn-or-her books." The feminist cause marches on.