Answering Machine Aficionado T-Shirts

'... to leave a message, press 4... to speak to a live person, come to 414 Main Street, Room 1310 between 9 and 4... thank you.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Funny how talking to an automated voice system makes YOU sound like the robot.'

On Stephen Harper's answering machine..Michaelle calls.

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Crane fishing

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"Wish granted. A cafeteria."

Children's questions

"On your mark! Get set!"

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

"You know the great thing about human beings? They're biodegradable."

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Bagging the Chipmunk

Man checks the gears in his chest.

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

Combined Harvester

A cheese grader

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

Another Cerebral Question. The future is right in front of us and we can't see it. The past is behind us and we can see it. What kind of logic is that?!

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

Lighting a Pipe

Elephant with front end loader using tusks.

"I was hoping my bonus would be more than a voucher for the vending machine."

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"What do you mean I ask too many questions?"

Cat flap for a truck.

Dang! They're always out of 'handsome and brilliant neurosurgeon!'