Answering Machine Aficionado Pillows

'... to leave a message, press 4... to speak to a live person, come to 414 Main Street, Room 1310 between 9 and 4... thank you.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Funny how talking to an automated voice system makes YOU sound like the robot.'

On Stephen Harper's answering machine..Michaelle calls.

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Crane fishing

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"On your mark! Get set!"

Children's questions

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

"You know the great thing about human beings? They're biodegradable."

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Man checks the gears in his chest.

Bagging the Chipmunk

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

Combined Harvester

A cheese grader

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

"I was hoping my bonus would be more than a voucher for the vending machine."

Elephant with front end loader using tusks.

Lighting a Pipe

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"What do you mean I ask too many questions?"

Cat flap for a truck.

Dang! They're always out of 'handsome and brilliant neurosurgeon!'

"Is there a section at the bottom for comments?"

'Sergeant! Wake up the lazer guided slaughter-bot. We have a mission for him.'; Reply - 'But he looks so peaceful, Sir.'

Far out Man! A pot machine!