Noise Machine Aficionado T-Shirts

I bought one of those sound machines to help me sleep. I set the sound to running water, woke up and called the plumber.

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Crane fishing

"You know damn well what noise!"

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Library Grand Opening

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

"Turn down the bass."

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"In this one, I can hear the sound of traffic."

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Playing dustbins

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

Communication

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Please. Don't get me started.'

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

"Sorry for the racket, but, I ask you, how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen 6-B?"

'Your parrot is driving me crazy.'

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

"You don't like my new whistle?"