Answering Machine Admirer Gifts

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

Claus 2.0

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

Robot Painter

Distributor in love with a multitasking robot.

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.

Employee of the Month

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

"I'm going to be late... my driverless car is stick behind an autonomous tractor."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

Mad cleaning robot.

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Really? You're hiring me back to replace the robot you just replaced me with? I've had a change of heart, minion. It may be cheaper to automate my café. But it dawned on me that robots don't buy very many drinks. Plus, as much as I try to let the bottom line guide me, I am, deep down, a very compassionate man. I couldn't bear the thought of you being poor and miserable. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Plus, one accidental incineration of a customer and the authorities get all weird about it.

"Who's the new guy?"

Robot Office Tasks

"My 'check engine' light came on."

"They're talking about birdhouses again. Time to send them birdhouse ads."

Now hiring. You seem very motivated. It's my internal drive!

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

"Someday our robots will have all our anxieties for us."

"I have designed us new, steam-powered space suits."

'I am not a robot.'