Anorak Aficionado Gifts

"Beige Marks and Spencer anorak, elasticated cuffs, fully enclosable hood...I don't believe I've got that one"

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

Dangle the Dog

"Remember when they just used to write the train numbers down?"

Servicemen.

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Hats and Food

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

The Perfect Foil

'Is the water cold?'

'My dentist recommended it.'

Making fun of Starfish.

Want the wings as an appetizer?

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

Blatant competition in nature.

'I don't know, son. I suppose the three little kittens and the three little pigs drew straws.'

"I didn't just store my acorns - I invested them in a high performance stock portfolio."

"I was so shy I hid to sound her out. When the echo came back, she sounded really good looking, and the rest, is history..."

'I don't know, son, if Noah was an animal lover. I imagine he started out that way.'

Bird Messaging

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'

Noah's fridge

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

Tree at the barber's.

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

The Sinking of the Moskva

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"

So, how are you planning on eating that?

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

"Yes, I'm relatively certain the Itsy Bitsy Spider was not, in fact, a Brown Recluse."

"Hey! That's cheating!"