Anonymity Seeker Pillows

"All day long, I get called...it's 'Baldo this' and 'Baldo that'. Sometimes I wish I had an unlisted name."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"They’re real."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Is this who I am?"

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Ethanol and foreign oil.

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Silent type, eh?'

Forming the adolescent personality

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

'I have to answer this e-mail from the boss. Can you wait in the hallway for a few minutes? I need my cyberspace.'

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."