Annuity Aficionados Gifts

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

Advent Calender.

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

Tax Cuts Water the Economy.

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

Department of Work and No Pension