Annual Review Gifts

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'Time for your annual performance rating, Fenwick. Take one step forward.'

We are here...'In a nutshell...'

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

'We value you in ways that cannot be expressed in money.'

"You were right, Mom. Having you there made it a much nice annual review."

'It's the annual report, Sir. We can't seem to come up with a convincing plot device.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Mitchell will now review the quarterly earnings. Please fasten seat belts and place chairs in upright position."

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

'It's agreed, Members of the board will not take certain aspects of the annual report too personally.'

'Your evaluation is based on the next 30 seconds. Go!'

'One helluva year.' (annual report to be made into movie)

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'We're pedaling as hard as we can, but we don't seem to be getting anywhere.'

'Go easy on me. I just had my annual review.'

'I like my job, but I worry that it may lead to work.'

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

'Midgely, we've decided to put Gillen on this project.'

"I was supposed to prepare your year-end review but I figured youe sales chart would just save me the trouble."

"Our company is going to embrace cutting edge change...that's why the room is full of old white guys waiting for me to load a motivational video into a VCR."

Employee evaluation.

'As you man have heard, I'm doing performance reviews.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A bank swallows a home.

'Your efforts, and the little Latin quotes you drop into your email, have not gone unrecognized.'

'We had a good year... we didn't get caught.'

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Is this a 'No'?'

Falling Prices

"Nice speech. A blend of the aspirational and pie-in-the-sky nonsense."

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."