Annual Report Presentation Gifts

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

Business is off the chart.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"#Win!"

"Any questions?"

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

Blue sky thinking

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'