Business Presentation Gifts

'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'

'Make sure that those 'Ideas whose time has come', get launched today.'

'Next time, Featherton, I'd like to see your sales projections without the clouds.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"Any questions?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'