Annual Leave Celebration Gifts

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

A man looks up at the earth

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

Temporarily Unavailable

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."