Annual Leave Celebration Gifts

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

A man looks up at the earth

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

Temporarily Unavailable

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

Business cartoon about an incentive to complete the paperwork.