Annual Company Dinner Pillows

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Bo're'droom

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

'Absent friends!'

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"For an up to date picture, I suggest we reconvene under the table."

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

"Every year, it's the same darned thing! I take a two-week vacation, and while I'm gone, the company just falls apart!"

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"And so as a hedge against this trend, the directors have decided to invest heavily in red ink."

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Our profits have been out-sourced ."

Businessman's schedule full of confrontations.

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'