Annual Corporate Meeting Pillows

Well done, Megson. Shareholders should drop off after fifteen minutes.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

Bo're'droom

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"Who's ready to see what's going to happen in the fourth quarter?"

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."