Annoyed Parent Pillows

Man and his little dog stand outside the entrance to a shop readings a sign that says "No little yappy dogs".

Cat in Tree.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

'No, that isn't my slippers either! Try again.'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"It's an educational toy. Let HIM figure out how to assemble it!"

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

Poker Moms

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

I have two teenagers that text!

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

'Typical new dad: the kid's still a maggot - barely able to squirm - but Dewey's already brought him a regulation size football.'

"I'm grouchy?. . . So what."

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

Uncertain Future

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."