Animated Tv Critic Pillows

"He's jumping up and down and swearing at the TV! Let's not go in, his team must be losing..."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Honest Vending

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Can't Touch This

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

Polar bears

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'