Animal Welfare Advisor Pillows

'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

Support group for sheep.

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

The Golfing Accident

"Be kind"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

dog vs UFO...

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."