Animal Advisor Pillows

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

dog vs UFO...

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

The Golfing Accident

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.