Animal Welfare Advocates Pillows

"You both appear to be in excellent health."

"The only downside to free-range is I can't get a Wi-Fi signal out here."

'Maybe we shouldn't have used the tail as the donor site for a skin graft.'

Canadian seal hunt. "What about brutal cruelty do you not understand?"

'You're retired, Rufus. No more sniffing out drugs, remember?'

'On second thought, Doctor, I think it would be better to just put her to sleep.'

'Not mad cow disease again! I'm cancelling tonight's steak dinner.'

"I had just managed to train my old mare to go without food when she died."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Support group for sheep.

Foster failure

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"I have no thumbs."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...