Animal Technician Gifts

Stupid vet tricks (Vet trying to trick a dog into getting an injection by waving a bone in front of it).

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

Snake Charmer's Snake on Strike.

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'