Animal Technician Gifts

Stupid vet tricks (Vet trying to trick a dog into getting an injection by waving a bone in front of it).

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"Quick, start the car!"

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'He's not supposed to go out.'

Litter Tray Training

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Cat Show

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Snake Charmer's Snake on Strike.

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"