Animal Kingdom Strategist T-Shirts

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Cat in a tank...

'How about a game of cards?'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

Thug life on safari.

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

"Works every time."

"For drinks or dinner?"

'My dentist recommended it.'

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'I've gone from King of the Jungle to team leader.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Food chain.

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

"What should I say this is about?"

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

'Sorry, I've been head-hunted by another pride.'

'It won't be long now - I'm in my 18th month.'

"Wait till you hear this one! This little fella is calling himself a mammal and he reckons one day they're going to dominate the Earth!"

Spawning did nothing for Maurice and Kevin.

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

'Wait - Who did you say you're going to invade?'

Play Date Gone Terribly Wrong

Only a few experts know that antelopes can be very chauvinistic.

"It's the moat Sire, everyone's just hanging out in it."

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"Pulling out the thorn was easy. What I'm most proud of is the hair transplant."