Animal Kingdom Explorers Gifts

Whoa! I had no idea I weighed this much!

Why worms have no confidence

Mice air fresheners in a car.

"Yes Dad, I understand the bit about going after the weak, but the sick? What if they are contagious?"

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Cat box"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

'He's not supposed to go out.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"A little help, please."

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'Check out the old dude.'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Thug life on safari.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Crocodile

'I didn't know ostriches could swim.'

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

"For drinks or dinner?"

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

Kangeroo and joey

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

Buddhist photo albums,

Kid tries to lasso a cat

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'