Animal Humor Appreciators Gifts

'Stop trying to nurse me, I'm a shetland pony. We're raised to be like this. . . Lord knows why.'

"Give me a minute—I'm working on my core."

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

Blind dog.

Dog mugging.

'Martha, did you order a 100 pound bag of peanuts?'

'I happened to swallow a bottle of Rogaine!'

The Rake Reflex

"Come to bed...it's way past winter!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Faster, Georges, faster!

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Lactose Intolerant

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"I was almost that last year."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Cat and mouse

"Say hello to my little friend."

"Author does not do tricks."

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The americanisation of vulture.

'Oh Hi!'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'