Animal Hospital Staff Gifts

Dog with toilet IV

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"We find the Rolf Harris tape provides reassurance for our clients."

'Sorry, the Doctor can't see you at midnight. He'll be in surgery....

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

Fido's Animal Hospital: 'Hey! You're no veterinarian!'

'Wait...Sir...It's customary to pay for services when rendered!'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Cat in Tree.

Dog wearing a cone

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'