Animal Hierarchy Humorist Gifts

Food Chain

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Jurassic Pork.'

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'