Animal Hierarchy Humorist Gifts

Food Chain

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"