Animal Documentary Fan Gifts

This year would see a change form the usual stealth approach.

'Forget it - that is one fast zebra!'

What's on? A duckumentary.

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Dog traps the postman.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." It's okay for a first draft, Thomas, but it'll be much better if you make it rhyme!

A penguin's life is like endless summer camp, swimming and fishing all day every day!

"But what's my motivation?"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

David Attenborough

Steve Irwin.

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

Casting Wildlife Films.

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"Are you not infotained?!!"

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

'At least he kept his promise not to go to the media or government.'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

Field guide to North American plumbers

"Just follow me around for a day with a camera. It would make a great reality TV show. ... I'm serious."

Filming the Crocodile.

"Hold on, you can't attack her! Can't you see she's pregnant!"