Animal Communication Enthusiast Gifts

'You're right - he's trying to communicate.'

"How are we supposed to know what's bothering him when we don't speak bark?"

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"You don't whisper anymore."

"I have no thumbs."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Ever eat a bird?"

"Have you tried biting him?"

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."